simple me

Thursday, May 6, 2010

Thick Face, Black Heart

I'm currently reading this book " Thick Face, Black Heart" by Ching Ning Chu. My uncle lent it to me when I went back to my grandma's place in Ipoh recently. The title " Thick Face, Black Heart" struck me as someone vicious or sinister. Is this self-improvement book for real? How can it use such a aggressive title? haha.. but as I started reading a few pages of it, I found it to be a really insightful book . It talks about cultivating or rather discovering this diving being in all of us. This divine being is known as our higher self or simply inner voice. It is always pure, focused and clear in its objectives. It upholds important moral values such as integrity, compassion and determination, and letting this inner voice of ours guide us in our lives is the way to a fulfilling and happy life. This higher self can be represented by both the " Thick Face" & " Black Heart" . Thick face in being self-confident and having faith in oneself in spite of naysayers. Black Heart in executing actions for the greater good even if it means sacrificing a few people.

Some of the author's theories and ideologies are thought-provoking, although I didn't agree with all of them since they are a matter of her own perspective. One idea which resonates with me is the part on" detachment". She talked about being detached to our possessions - material or intangible. Being detached means being indifferent to it. We must not let our possessions possess us. The only way to not get disappointed about not having something is to NOT want it the first place. This is similar to buddha's teaching of not being attached to things and people around us. The more we attach ourselves to the people and things around us, the more we suffer when they leave us. I have talked about it in my previous post and I was in a dilemma because as much as I want to avoid pain and achieve enlightenment, I did not want to live a life void of intense emotions and feelings. If we only have one life, why not live it to the extreme? Ha ha..I'm being a bit idealistic I know. Anyway hearing the same theory from another author gave me a new insight into this issue.

Maybe we should WANT things, be it material possessions, experiences or relationships.
We should have dreams and desires because they give us hope to continue striving through life.
We should open ourselves to new experiences and people. Say YES like how Jim Carrey did in the YES Man movie because going out of our comfort zone makes us grow and may lead us to new experiences which may potentially change our lives forever. What we should not attach ourselves to is the result of how things turn out in the end. Do you notice that sometimes in life, the more we want something, the more it escapes us? Like how the more we chase happiness, the more elusive it becomes? Sand falls faster through the cracks in our hand the tighter we clutch onto it.

Let life take its natural course and have faith in ourselves. Do honest work to the best of our ability, and if things do not turn out as expected, do not wallow in self-pity or turn pessimistic about life. You never might be a blessing in disguise and things might turn out better than expected in the end.;)

Saturday, August 15, 2009

My destiny

Went to see a fortune teller out of curiosity & also coz my mum wanted to know if i will be safe travelling in HK for a peace of mind. Since I have done my own predictions, I knew most of what he said about my destiny, like how my health is not too rosy, that i have to be wary of gossips & I may meet my soulmate at age 21. HOwever, what he said about my marriage life surprised me..heres how part of the conversation went:

fortune teller: Your marriage will be rocky coz ur husband will flirt around

me: Really? well then ill not marry a flirt

fortune teller: No.. ur husband will be hot-tempered, impatient & cant escape your destiny

haha..I know that im attracted to bad boys that are a bit wild..but im not the kind of gal who lets her heart rule her head..I know bad boys are bad for me..NONO...the fortune teller is wrong..ill not let that happen to me..

lets see ;)

Wednesday, July 15, 2009


A fortunate meeting defined by fate and revealed by destiny
an enchanting moment beyond the realm of reason
cunningly disguised in direst circumstances
whose touch is visible only to poetic soulsIt chooses its own time and place
evermore pretentious of purpose,
Crossing its hollowed path is futile
even frustrating to willing victims
‘cause it doesn’t bend its will to ones’ desire

Teasing a consoled mind to go astray
that’s always a part of the plan;
Yet it likewise reassures us to hold on …
to believe in destiny
and to let fate guide us on our journey

We are all willing victims to its wicked ploy
battling confusion, doubt, love and pain
with a fragile sword
‘tis we hang on to a flicker of hope,
‘cause we believe in destiny
and so it is, that I find this to be
the best explanation why I believe in you…

Written by Saffiya

Thursday, June 11, 2009

NO Regrets

I will not let myself regret the decision I make today. Running away is never an option. I must face my fears and overcome this challenge.


Sometimes, especially after a tough day at school, I'll think of you..I get comfort in knowing that you will always be there for me...maybe absence really makes the heart grow fonder.. but i like the current status quo, carefree and uncomplicating, its a good feeling.

Saturday, April 4, 2009

I wish for a carefree life

Buddha's wisdom...can i attain or rather, do I really want enlightenment?

Buddha is an enlightened man who knows "the truth" and the cause for all the sufferings we face in life. He mentioned that being emotionally attached to things, and he don't only mean material stuff, but also, status, accomplishments, people and relationships, leads to disappointment when these things are taken away from us. That's why monks do not marry, eat tofu and pray in secluded temples their whole life coz they believe that life of the common beings inevitably creates desires which deters them from ending suffering and attainment ultimate enlightenment.

His teachings make sense, expectations often lead to disappointment when these expectations are not met. so the only way to prevent getting disappointed is to not have expectations in the first place, and this applies to all areas of our life, including our friends and family.

Life is unpredictable, people come and go as they like, relationships turn sour, and we are heartbroken. but we have to accept the fact that life goes on, and in order to protect ourselves from getting hurt, we must understand that sometimes we have to let go. We must stop ourselves from dwelling in the past. The past is over and no matter what we do, we cannot change what has happened. We can only bravely look ahead and live our future in faith.

I imagine myself as an MRT train, and my journey in life is obviously an MRT line..i'll take the north-south line starting at Woodlands, my train stops at Sembawang and in enters a group of ppl. They are fabulous ppl and we become friends. We have a party. We pop our wine bottles, drink, dance, chat, we are having a fabulous time. Suddenly at Ang Mo Kio, they decide to leave, and what remains are the "aftermath" of a party, food and tissue papers shrewned all over the floor, there is pin-dropped silence, and I am left feeling empty and miserable. But on second thought, I shouldn' t be feeling so miserable. I am an MRT train and there are many stations in my life, people come in and of course they will leave. Instead of focussing on what i have lost, I should be grateful for the memories i have had. At least we had a great time, and maybe life is just a collection of memories. Nothing is permanent and we shouldn't expect it to be.

Buddha path to enlightenment takes the extreme view. He doesn't want to get emotionally attached in the first place. He chooses not to marry and build relationships because they create opportunities for disappointment and suffering. He reasons that a person who chooses to be emotionally attached have to face the consequences of their decision, which is human suffering. Can I be emotionally unattached to things? Material stuff or stuff which apppeals to my senses, maybe? but being emotionally unattached to ppl? I seriously doubt my ability to do so. Like how the saying goes, "It is better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all", I believe that unhappy experiences are still worth having. They teach me things, and they offer some of the most profound and valuable lessons in life.

To my family and friends, It is fate that has brought us together. No matter how long u stay, I want to thank u for coming into my life. For the memories, whether good or bad, have shaped me into the person I am today ;)