Looks? Money? Status? & My thoughts about love

This blog is specially written for ppl who are disillusioned into thinking that gals are only going for guys with looks, money & status.

Is it true that gals want a guy who is rich, good looking and has high social status? Looks, maybe not as important, but money & social status, yes. It is an unconscious animal survival instinct in us since the cavemen era where men go out to hunt for food & women protect their offspring. A rich guy who has a high social status shows that he is popular among his pals, competent and able to provide for the family.

It’s hard for gals to discern the good guys from the bad ones, so money and status are easy measures of a guy’s competence. However, I feel that it’s better to look at a guy’s potential, which is seen in his attitude and character instead, for example, is he hardworking, motivated and determined? A rich guy can lose all his money if he doesn’t know how to manage his finances, and status, just like money, can be gone one day.

Then again, gals who only date competent guys who will rise to be CEOs in future must be careful, because these type of guys tend to be overachievers. They seek out the best in life, and are not easily satisfied. This means not being easily satisfied with their girlfriend too. I won’t want a guy like that. It’s a torture being with him. He’s so critical and I will never be good enough for him. I cannot please him, and he will most probably have an affair if he finds someone else whom he thinks is better than me.

I know looking for money, status or competence in a guy seems manipulative and calculating. Shouldn’t true love be unconditional? Like no matter how bad a person is, u still love him/her? I believe that there is unconditional love, but that’s after u have fallen in love with a person. After all the emotions and effort invested in a relationship, the time spent together & the memories shared, If my boyfriend suddenly become crippled or paralysed, I will stay by his side forever because my love for him is unconditional.

I told a friend that I can give unconditional love to my husband and he asked me: “Are you willing to sacrifice ur life for ur husband?” His question stumped me. I have never asked myself that question or thought of unconditional love in that way. I took time to reflect and really think about it, and my answer is yes..i will sacrifice my life for my beloved because he has become as important or even more important than me. His happiness is more impt than my happiness or rather I can never be happy if he is unhappy.

I watched TVB’s “Tang Xin Feng Bao – Moonlight resonance” drama..& cho bao said that he wished his wife will die earlier than him because he doesn’t want his wife to suffer the pain of losing a loved one. I want to die earlier than my husband too. The pain of losing a loved one is so unbearable..like u are losing part of urself. I’ll probably get depressed.

Whatever it is, Love is not easy. A couple needs to have the same values and beliefs. It is the most fundamental aspect in a relationship. Eg. A conflict will arise if the gal values her freedom and doesn’t like to be controlled by anyone but the guy prefers a more dependent relationship. Similarly with the gal who is a staunch Christian and goes to church every week but the guy doesn’t believe in god. A relationship is like 2 ppl coming together as a single entity. They must be going in the same direction in life or at least looking at life from the same point of view. That is why some couples break up. It’s because their priorities in life have changed, they do not have common interests, and they have nothing enjoyable to do together as a couple. They are not involved in each others’ lives hence they slowly drift apart wondering why the feeling is lost.

Oh, and another thing, after watching TVB’s “Gem of life” drama, I realise that a couple’s family and extended family plays an important role in a relationship. When you fall in love with someone, you are not only falling in love with that person, but also with that person’s family. Your beloved is not a lone wolf. Her family is part of the package and they are important to her. She has to consider their feelings and if you cannot get along with them, don’t expect to have a smooth relationship with her.

Many of my friends asked me why im still single, “You never like anyone before meh?” “Your expectation too high la, you so fussy, I think you can’t get married.” Ha ha..I don’t think I have high or unrealistic expectations. I don’t place much importance on looks, money or status. I just need a guy who genuinely loves me, understands me, and can connect with me on a deeper level. Of course we must have the same values in life, and his personality must also complement me. It’s hard to find someone like that, and I won’t compromise. It’s all or nothing. I rather not have a relationship if can’t find the “right one”. It’s hard for me to fall in love, but once I do, I do so deeply, and it would be a life transformation, for both me and my partner.